Tuesday, July 15, 2008

Kids These Days

My cousin just started a blog. One of her first posts complained of her obstinate child and her difficulties parenting the little guy.

Sunday I scored a huge haul of over 2,000 books and related ephemera at a local estate sale. I've just started going through the stuff, but it's already given me some ideas to help out my cousin. I think part of the problem with her kids (and mine too) is that they have become soft from our unadventurous, protective parenting. We have for too long exposed them to activities from wimpy books like these, which recommend children's museums, frozen custard and a place called "Toy Joy":

I'm going to try a little Texas Hill Country trip with my kids this weekend. If it works out I'll share it with my cousin, who also lives in a desert area.

First, we will hit the road in the 100+ degree heat to go on a mining adventure:

Based on the tips from this 1949 government publication, I'll know how to find this precious stuff. If I can figure out a way to sell it, we're talking not only good parenting, but PROFIT!

We will not be bringing supplies or provisions of any type - not even water or shoes - and we'll leave with a full tank of gas and only the clothes on our backs. We will learn to adapt quickly with this 1969 government manual:

I can hardly wait to hear my children tell loving stories of family lore at future gatherings - making their own shoes from plywood, and the sweetest water they ever tasted after extracting it from cacti with their bare hands and makeshift tools.

If things go awry while we are mining, we'll be all right because I found a first aid manual for miners. Whether Dad suffers a bleeding crotch, or Lad gets burned from too much uranium radiation, we'll be ready.

So Good Buddies, look for me on the road this weekend if you're in Central Texas. I'll be on channel 38 and my handle is "Bogey."


tracy said...

Break 1-9, Bogey. Thanks for making me realize how truly lame and unadventurous my own childhood was.

I'm thinking uranium radiation burn victim for a Halloween costume this year.

Anonymous said...

It seems to me you are making fun of families who mine for uranium. I can tell you that my family often venture into the West to do some "rockhounding" - and the result is fun, and yes, profit. My 6 year old discovered a 153 carat star sapphire in a mineshaft near Helena, Montana, in 1985, and we've been living off the proceeds until present day. So keep on laughing -- and I'll keep laughing, too. All the way back from the bank. Maybe those books have something to teach you, Lazy MF.