Tuesday, June 17, 2008

Sex Education

 This book will help my readers who have children.  It was published in MCMLII and its theme is that it's never too early to to talk to your kids about sex. 

I'm not sure I understand the cover.  The children, who know nothing about sex, are not able to roller skate, but can only clomp away and stare at their crotches.  The adults, who know a lot about sex, can gaze lovingly into each other's eyes while roller skating in tandem.  There is nothing in the book about a correlation between skating prowess and knowledge of the nasty, but I guess it must be so.  It may explain why many of the women involved in the revival of roller derby make me feel like they know a lot about sex.  Also, I'm not quite sure children will develop normally if their dad wears skin-tight leopard skin shirts with chippendale bow ties in public.

The author, a professor from Oregon State University (Beavers), says that your young children should be asking a lot of questions about sex, and if they are not, you should take them to the zoo:

It will also help your children develop normally if you let them go bowling often with their friends (this is a bowling entry for you, Tracy).

During their teen years, it is appropriate for you to pull items out from your bedroom closet and demonstrate their use to your kids and their dates, so long as you explain the limits:

And even after your teens are sexually mature, it's still OK to question their dating relationship with Humbert Humbert:


tracy said...

Thanks for the bowling entry, Brother! It's very clear to me what bowling has to do with sex--
I mean, look at professional bowlers! Rrrrrrrroooowwwrrrrr!

Maah said...

Hmmm-1952, let's see. That would explain my great sex ed. Didn't ask questions, didn't need a zoo, had the barnyard (but girls not allowed during calving). Complaints about boys I dated-yep! But one with a receding hairline, mustache and trench coat would have been quickly ushered off the farm-had he gotten on in the first place.
There was nothing in the closet, or drawers to explain. I know, I looked.
The rollerskating crotch gazers...easy solution. Take the skate key away! And that's all one needs to know, or explain about sex. Prayer will take care the rest.

tracy said...

By the way, Mommy, you never told me about rink rash.