Friday, November 21, 2008

Your Key to a Happy Thanksgiving: Ignore the Vile Bleat and Deadly Darts

I found this clipping in an old psychiatry textbook. We can all benefit from the advice of Dr. Hyman Judah Schachtel as our troublesome "friends" and family gather for Thanksgiving.

Please close your ears to the diabolical slander and have a safe, happy Thanksgiving.

Sunday, November 2, 2008

Why Pan Am Went Out of Business

I just got done with a couple long Southwest Airlines flights. My dry roasted peanuts were served with shiny foil packets and the 3 ounce club soda I drank was fresh out of the can and went a long way towards quenching my dry palate. The napkin the efficient flight attendant gave me was trimmed in the same soothing earth tones as the pack of peanuts. Southwest is a very successful airline because they pay attention to details like those.

I just found this in-flight menu from Pan Am airlines from the 1960s. It's pretty obvious why they went bankrupt after you look at this shoddy attempt at customer service. It's an 8" x 11" menu printed on textured watercolor paper that's really rough on the skin. Before he even got to the food and drinks inside, the passenger had to endure a water color painting of some pagans worshipping lion-gods or something. How unsettling is that?

When you open up the menu you immediately notice that the paper on the interior is a different color than the exterior. What were they thinking?! Slipshod! And look at this abomination: they hand taped a daily "Flight Fancy" selection (sole amandine) right there in the menu. Not only is it not centered, THE PAPER IS A DIFFERENT COLOR!!! As Jon Stossel would say, "Give me a break!"

Please Make Them Go Away

Because 2 volumes was not enough for Isaac Asimov:

It also spawned anonymous competitors: