Friday, May 22, 2009

Suggestions for the Productive Punishment of Your Children

If you're like me, you've disciplined your children at one time or another by removing all forms of media: "That's it - no more Cartoon Network! No more GameBoy! No more YouTube!"  And if your kids are like mine, they come to you within a few hours of this "punishment," tell you they are bored, and ask what you did when you were a child - before TV video games, the intarwebs and childhood diabetes.  If you're like me, you don't want to tell them the truth - that you entertained yourself in a constant form of a 1970's version of Lord of the Flies which involved nerf footballs, whiffle ball bats, truth-or-dare, skateboards, vandalism and Playboy magazines.

I just discovered this two volume set published by the Boys Scouts of America in 1937 which has given me some ideas to suggest to my bored children.  They are ideas from a more innocent time, and you may want to use them with your kids.

There all all kinds of wholesome games scoutmasters taught their troops.  Boys learned how to slap the duck, skin the snake, seize the bacon and gaze at beavers:

Kids back then used their imaginations.  Think of the fun your kiddos will have when you adapt  this suggestion by telling them they will pretend they are playing Xbox:

There are other (NAMBLA approved) activities which will not only entertain boys, but will also teach them about Native American culture (a/k/a the tradition of the Redman).

Bored on Sunday?  How about some alternative forms of worship like this Wicca log worshipping ceremony:

All children should learn the proper care and storage of milk.

And remember - whichever of these activities you choose, the memories will linger for your children, just as the memories of a Boyscout's time with the Scoutmaster will linger in the scout's mind.